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By Lashana
I heard the rumbling again, and felt the car start rolling. I opened my eyes slighly and noted that it was early morning, and that we must be traveling south, because the sun was coming up on my right side. I closed my eyes quickly against the pain from the light and lay perfectly still, not wanting the men in the front seat to know I was awake. I was hoping that one of them would say something that would give me an idea as to where I was and how I had gotten here.
I had woken up for the first time in my memory about three days ago, and because I was unaware of the situation I was in, I didn't try to hide the fact that I was conscious. That mistake was one that I had no intention of repeating again, because it not only earned me the beating that caused the pain in my head, back and neck, but also subjected me to a repeated rape, courtesy of my two captors.
"Listen man, we gotta dump the broad soon. People are gonna start looking for her, and you know at least one of those assholes back in that bar saw us toss her in the back seat."
I listened to the voice, cold chills running down my spine at the sound. That was a voice I would never forget. The bar that they were referring to was the one that I had tried to wander into when I woke up three days ago, hoping to find a phone and a bathroom to freshen up in. I didn't remember getting drunk, but my head had felt like I had tied one on pretty good. They caught me almost as soon as I had gotten out of the car, and with a curse, the bigger one slammed his fist into my mouth and tossed me back into the back seat of the car.
I tried screaming, but the smaller of the two jumped into the backseat the slapped his hand over my mouth. silencing any potential alert I would have sounded. We rode for what seemed like hours, until they found a suitably trashy hotel. They rented a room and dragged me into it. There I spent the most hellish night of my life.
I must have passed out from the abuse my body was taking, because I didn't remember being moved from the motel to the car,. I did my best to avoid contact with them at all during the random and very infrequent stops along the road. I was never allowed out of the site of at least one of them, and was even accompanied to the woods where I was allowed to use the bathroom. They refused to stop in any populated areas for this purpose for fear that I would sound the alarm either in the bathroom, or that the bruises and swelling would attract the attention of others.
My head was pounding, from the strain of trying to listen to their conversation and because of the beating, and the last consious though that I had was a prayer to the heavens that someone would help me before these men killed me.
I heard them arguing, and my heart started pounding. I felt the car screach to a stop, and heard the drivers side door open. I was praying silently that they would leave me alone, and when the rear passenger doorsprung open, and I felt their hands on my arms pulling me out of the car, it took all the will power I possessed not to scream and kick. I could smell the wiskey on the breath of my captors and my stomach rolled at the smell.. The dragged me down the side of the embankment, and continued arguing with each other. I did my best to pretend unciousness, until I felt them starting to pull on my clothes. Then, against all reasonable thought, I started to fight. I knew they would probably kill me, but I would have rather died than have either one of them touch me again.
The bigger one, whose voice I was beginning to recognise was cussing so loudly that I thought someone was sure to hear him, and I prayed that they would. I heard a car coming down the road, and knew that my only hope for survival was to reach the road and flag down that vehicle, hoping that they would help me. I gathered every last shred of energy in my body and after delivering what I hoped would be incapacitating kicks to the goin of the bigger man, and shoving the smaller one off balance, I ran up the embankment and started down road.
I had gotten about twenty yards, when I was hit from behind by what felt like a mac truck. I hit the ground and did my best to protect my head and neck from the blows that were being leveled on me by the very irate man I had kicked. I could hear his partner screaming at him the whole time.
"God dammit, you couldn't wait another fucking twenty minutes to have her, had to drag her out here on the side of the road, not here's a fucking caravan of trucks coming. We're going to have to leave her here and get the hell out, before someone catches us. I felt the kick in my side like a knife. I groaned at the pain and rolled to my side, but never opened my eyes. I heard the footsteps as they ran up the embankment and even through the pain felt some joy at the sound of the car as it peeled off down the highway leaving me for dead on the side of the road.
I had rolled back down the embankement during the beating, and I knew I needed to get to the top of the for anyone to really see me, so I moved, slowly, one inch at a time, tears blinding my eyes from the pain in my side and my head, The rocks were digging into my hands and knees, but I was determined to make it to the top of that slope.
I could hear the cars coming, and I knew they were my only hope. That was my last though before I collapsed on the side of the road.
I heard voices, and lay there listening, wondering if it was just a dream, or if the men had really left.
"Damn, this poor girl has been through hell and back from the looks of her. Is she still alive?"
"I don't know, but I'm sure as hell going to find out."
I didn't recognise the voices, and although that should have made me happy, I still screemed the second I felt the hand touch my throat. I opened my eyes and saw three of the biggest men I had ever seen in my life standing over me. I was in a panic, and I wanted to get away, but my body would not cooperate. The pain was becoming unbearable and I started to cry.
I felt a strong hand stroaking my hair, and a soft masculine voice trying to soothe me. "Hey, shhh, its ok. Whoever did this to you is long gone, and we are here to help. Nobody is going to hurt you, I promise you that."
"Steve, we probably should take her to a hospital and have her checked out. There's no telling what's wrong with her, she could have internal bleeding and broken bones that we don't know about. Glen is calling the ambulance, they should be here soon."
The man that was talking to me, whom I guessed was Steve, answered the giant standing behind him, " Grab the blanket from behind the seat in the truck. I don't want her getting cold, and, I'm not going to chance moving her and causing more damage. Besides, the police will probably want to see where we found her."
"NO!" I had screamed that denial as soon as the mention of the police had left his mouth. The three men jumped at the sound of my fear, and Steve looked down at me.
"Hey, hey, calm down, it's all right. The hospital is going to call the police anyway, so it really doesn't matter whether we do or not. We have to get you checked out."
"No....hospital.....no.....police....please, help me!"
"Honey, listen to me, you are pretty beat up and there is no way for me to know what's wrong with you. I'm afraid to move you. What's your name anyway?"
I looked at him for a brief moment, racking my brain trying to remember my name. They could see the fear in my eyes as the name evaded my grasp. Just as I was about to panic, it popped into my head, and I let out the breath I had been holding,
"Lashana"
I heard the sigh of relief from Steve, "Lashana, that's a really pretty neme. My name is Steve, and my friends over there are Mark and Glen. I want you to listen to me, ok.? You have obviously been beaten badly, and I have no doubt tht you have a broken bone or two. If I try to move you, there is potential of even more damage being done. Why don't you want me to call the police and the ambulance?"
I looked at Steve and over his shoulder at his two friends. I didn't have the energy to explain my reasons, so I summed it all up in one word, "Afraid." I closed my eyes and tried to fight the tears that were building. behind them. My fear was unreasonable, and somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that, and I knew that I needed to go the the hospital, but I couldn't shake the terror I felt.
Steve reached out and ran the back of his hand along my face. I could tell he was worried about me, and although I had no idea who he really was, I felt safer with him around than I had felt in the past three days.
"Lashana, given the beating you have obiviously taken, I can understand that. I'm not going to let anyone else hurt you, I give you my word. Just let us get you some help "
I gave in to the inevitable at that point, knowing that I was going to the hospital wheather I wanted to or not. I also gave into the tears that had been threatening and cried until I heard the siren coming down the road. I reached out and took Steve's hand, the panic welling up inside me. I needed his strength and stability to fight the terror I was feeling. He looked down at my hand and wrapped it in his. He brushed his other hand against my face and smiled.
"That's a girl. Trust me, I won't let anyone hurt you."
I was warm, that was the first thing I remember thinking. I opened my eyes slowly and then cringed at the brighness of the room. I looked around and realized that I was in a hospital bed and had absolutly no idea how I had gotten there. I looked to my left and saw a man, someone I did not recognise sleeping in a very uncomfortable looking chair. I wondered who he was and why he was here in my room, but my throat was so dry I couldn't speak loud enough to call out to him.
He must have felt me looking at him though, because after a few minutes he started to stir and looked directly at me. He had the bluest eyes I had ever seen, and although I didn't recognise him, he apparently was very concerned and relieved to see me awake. When he stood to walk to the side of my bed, I realized how big he really was, and if it had not been for the obvious concern in his eyes, his size might have actually frightened me.
He looked down at me from the side of the bed and ran his knuckles down the side of my face and smiled.
"Good morning, sleepy head. How do you feel?"
I just looked at him for a minute, trying to remember him, feeling as though I was living in a dream. I tried to speak, but my voice cracked, and he shook his head. "Don't try to talk, I'm just glad to see you awake. You had us scared to death for awhile there. I'm going to go get the doctor and let him know you're awake, ok? I'll be right back."
A few moments later, he returned with the doctor and nurse. They took my temperature, checked my eyes and gave me some ice chips to help with the dryness of my throat and mouth. I had a million questions, but didn't really know who to ask, so I just lay there for a moment and listened to the doctor relay my condition to the giant in the room.
"Her eyes are clear, and her temp and bp are normal. She's going to need lots of rest and some time to heal, but I think, physically at least she'll be fine."
He looked at me and smiled, "You hear that? You're gonna be fine."
I looked at him, and finally worked up the energy to speak, "What….happened…to…me? Who…are…you?"
I could tell that those questions didn't sit well with either of the men in the room, the doctor was back, checking my eyes with his flashlight and asking me questions.
"Lashana? What day is today?"
I drew a blank on that one, and figured it was because I had been asleep for so long.
"Do you know what year it is?"
Another blank, and I was starting to get concerned.
"What about your last name? You told Steve that your name was Lashana, but you gave him no last name."
At this point, total panic was setting in. I didn't know my own last name, where I was or who I was with. I looked at the man I assumed was Steve and he reacted immediately to the panic in my eyes. He moved to the side of the bed, took my hand and stroked my hair.
"Hey, its all right, don't get upset. It'll all come back to you soon enough. Just relax."
The doctor pulled Steve aside and I could hear the hushed tone of their conversation. I didn't catch much of what they were saying, except a few words here and there. "Amnesia, probably temporary, calm." From the doctor, and "I'll take care of her" from Steve as they turned to walk back to the bed. I looked from one man to the other, fully expecting an explaination, and when the doctor left the room without saying anything I looked to Steve for the information I wanted.
"What…?"
Steve pulled the chair up next to me, took my hand and smiled. "I'm going to tell you what I know, which isn't much. Two friends and myself were driving down the interstate two days ago. We saw you crawling up out of an embankment and stopped to see if we could help. You had passed out by the time we got to you, but when you woke up, you were terrified. We called the ambulance and the police, and you were brought here and treated. You have two broken ribs, a fracture in you leg, a concussion and some really nasty looking bruises over most of your body. And, apparently you have amnesia. The doctor says its probably temporary and that given enough rest and time to heal, your memory should return completely."
I looked at him, trying to absorb what he was telling me. How on earth had I gotten in this condition? Why was I crawling up the side of an embankment on the side of the road?
"Your…name…is…Steve?"
"Yes, and you told me your's was Lashana when we found you on the side of the road. Do you remember any of that at all?"
"No. Why…are…you…still…here? Did…I…know…you…before?" The strain of talking was starting to wear me out, and I was fighting sleep with everything I had. I needed to know what was going to happen to me, who this man was, why he was here.
Steve reached over and brushed my hair back out of my face and smiled. "I don't really know the answer to that, except that you seemed to need me here. I needed to know that you were ok."
"What…happends….to…me…now?" I didn't remember where I lived, I had no idea who my family was, and I was quite sure that if I was found in this condition, I had no money on me, so I was concerned about where I would go when the hospital finally released me.
"Well, the doctor said he wanted to you to stay here for a couple more days, and I have to work tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday. You have two options after that; you can either go and stay in one of the state run nursing homes until you regain your memory, or you can come and stay with me."
I must have looked a little stunned at what he just said, because he chuckled. "Lashana, I want to you understand something. I don't really know you, and I can't explain why I want to help you, but I will tell you this much. Two nights ago, on the side of the road, I gave you my word that no one would hurt you any more. I know you don't remember that, but I do, and will keep my word to you. You can go to the nursing home if you really want to, but I would like to take you home with me and let you rest and relax there. Its completely up to."
I thought it over, a nursing home, full of unfamiliar people, or a home, with this man who seemed to care for me. It really seemed to be no choice at all, so I looked him in the eye and gave him my answer.
"You."
The next few days were difficult, as I adjusted to life with no memory. Steve had stayed with me until I fell asleep, and when I woke in the middle of the night I found that he had gone. Part of me wondered if it wasn't just a dream, if I hadn't imagined him and the fact that he invited me to stay with him until I recovered.. There was something about him that struck me a vaguely familiar, but as far as I could remember, which wasn't' far at all, I had never met him before.
The doctor had given me the option of taking percosette for the pain that my ribs and leg were causing, I didn't feel like I could think straight on them, so I stuck with extra strength Tylenol to cut the edge and just dealt with the pain. The three days that I spent in the hospital were filled with doctors and check ups. They sent in a psychologists several times to talk to me and see if I had remembered anything new. The police had been by several times as well, and although they were always polite and complete gentlemen, I still felt a tinge of nervous fear every time I saw a man in uniform. It made no sense to me at all, so I just chalked it up to my loss of memory and hoped that it would end soon.
It was early Tuesday morning, and I was wide awake. I heard voices in the hallway, and something triggered a prickling on the back of my neck. I lay there staring at the ceiling, straining to hear the voices in the hall. All I could hear was a jumble of sounds, none of which were clear enough for me to understand. Still, the hairs were standing up on the back of my neck and that was a warning that I didn't take lightly. I couldn't explain the reason behind it, but it was a certainty nonetheless.
I heard the door opening slightly and I watched through lowered lashed, as the shadow started to move into the room. I knew that neither the doctor or the nurse were due back in here for at least another hour, because they had just been here, so I wandered who would be coming into my room. My heart was pounding in my ears as I watched the door opening, and I saw the outline of a person standing in the door way. I couldn't make out their features, but for some reason, I felt the desire to scream welling up inside my chest. Just as I opened my mouth to scream, the figure in the door stopped and looked over his shoulder, then headed back out of the door. I closed my eyes and let out the breath I had been holding.
When I opened my eyes, the scream that had previously been building inside me was forced from my body as I saw a figure standing once again in the doorway, only bigger than before. I was silenced a moment later when Steve rushed to ,my bedside and I recognized him. I was shaking and tears were running down my cheeks, as I lay there trying to recover from the unreasonable fear that I felt a moment a go. Steve put his hand on the side of my face and was watching me closely.
"Lashana, what's the matter, what happened."
I looked at him, feeling excessively silly for freaking out over a shadow in the doorway, and I smiled a little sheepishly at Steve. "I, ah, well...you startled me in the doorway. I, uh, guess I'm a little jumpy or something."
Steve smiled understandingly and ran his knuckles against my cheek. "Hey, that's understandable, after what you've been through in the last week." He pulled a chair pup next to the bed and sat down. "
Hey, guess what! I talked to the doctor before I came in here, and he said that you are ready to go as soon as we get some paperwork signed."
I looked at him and smiled, probably the first real smile I'd had in days, "That's good to hear, but..."
He looked at me a little puzzled, "But? But what?"
I looked at him, trying to figure out how to ask this questions, "Well, I, umm..."
He laughed, watching me fumble over my words, and took my hand, "Lashana, what ever it is that you want to know, just ask. It's really ok, I promise."
I closed my eyes, trying to get hold of my nerves, "Well, I just was wondering if you were sure that it wasn't going to be a problem for me to stay at your house. I mean, I really don't want to impose on you or anything."
He squeezed my hand and smoothed the hair back off my face with his free hand and smiled. "Sweetheart, I promise, its not an imposition at all. I wouldn't have made the suggestion if it were. OK?"
I sighed, relieved more than I'd realized, and I smiled at Steve. "Girl, you have got to quit worrying so much and trust me. You sit back and relax and I'm going to go and get the paperwork from the doctor for you to sign." I lay back against the pillows and watched him leave the room, wondering for the millionth time why he seemed familiar to me, and how on earth I had gotten so lucky as to be found by someone so caring and sweet.
We signed the papers and I sat up, assisted by the mobility of the top half of the bed. My ribs were wrapped tightly due to the fracture, and it was difficult for me to sit up on my own. Steve put his hand behind my back to help me sit up, and then excused himself from the room so the nurse could help me change out of the hospital gown and into the clothes that he had brought me. Once I was changed, I was helped out of the bed and into a wheel chair.
Steve walked around behind the chair and took the handles. "Well, my lady shall we head out the door and get you home?"
I looked up at him and chuckled slightly, "why yes, kind sir, I believe that would be a most excellent idea."
He laughed along with me and pushed me out the door and down the hallway. The nurse rode with us down the elevator and out to the truck which had been pulled out in front of the hospital.. I sat in the wheel chair looking that the beautiful truck in front of me. "It's a beautiful truck Steve, there is however one small problem. There is no way I'm going to be able to climb into that thing with this cast on my leg and my ribs taped up like this."
Steve chuckled, "She is pretty isn't she? As far as getting you in to the truck, well, I think we can resolve that problem fairly quickly." Before I could comprehend what he was saying, Steve had picked me up out of the wheel chair and set me down in the passenger seat of the truck. "See, now that wasn't so bad. Was it?"
I laughed at him, and the ease with which he moved me, and said "No,, not bad at all."
The nurse handed him my belongings, and the medical supplies for my ribs and he headed around to get into the truck. As he pulled out onto the road, I started to wonder if I had made a serious error in judgement. Here I was, no money, no memory, sitting in a truck with a man I didn't know heading off to destination unknown. I must have been in a complete daze, because all of the sudden I felt him touch my hand and I snapped back to reality and looked at him.
"Lashana? What's the matter? You've been sitting there wringing your hands since we left the hospital, and ignoring everything I've said to you in the last 10 minutes."
I gave him a weak smile and trying to shake the niggling doubts I was having. "Well, I uh…I guess I was just wondering why you were being so nice to me. I mean, from what you've told me, you don't know me, and obviously I don't know you. I guess it seems a little odd and maybe a little to good to be true."
He squeezed my hand and gave me a half smile, "Well, the only thing I can tell you is that when I found you on the side of the road, you looked so scared and alone, and although you had obviously been through a terrible ordeal, you trusted me. I can't explain why, but I feel like I need to protect you and take care of you, if you'll let me that is."
I sat there in silence, stunned by his response. I wasn't really sure how to respond to something like that. I took a deep breath and tried to relax, "I'm sorry, I guess I'm more tense than I realized."
The booming sound of his laughter startled me, and I looked at him curiously, "Lashana, you are probably the only person I have ever met who could go through what you've been through and apologize for being tense. Anyone else would have fallen to pieces by now."
I shook my head, "You give me too much credit, Steve. I would probably have fallen to pieces too, if I could remember what it was that had happened to me."
That statement hung in the air, and silence followed, as he continued to drive. It seemed to me that the longer we drove, the further away from civilization we got. When he turned onto a dirt road, my heart started to pound. There didn't appear to be anyone living anywhere on this road. I was looking out the window, trying to calm my breathing and slow my pulse, when the truck came to a stop on the side of the road. I looked back and Steve, and he was sitting there watching me, a concerned look written all over his face.
"Lashana? Hey, what's the matter. You sound like you're about to hyperventilate over there, and your wringing your hands again. What are you afraid of?"
I looked down at my lap, and then back at Steve. I felt excessively guilty for my fear, and I didn't know how to explain it to him, without offending him. He sat there watching me for a couple of minutes, then looked out the window of the truck.
"Well, Shit!" I jumped at that expletive, and looked at Steve. He laughed and looked at me, "I am sorry Lashana, it just occurred to me what was the matter." I looked at him, wondering what he was thinking.
"I never really paid much attention to how secluded it is out here, and I guess I didn't really warn you about it before we headed this way. I probably scared the living hell out of you bringing you out into the middle of no where, didn't I."
I let out the breath I didn't realize I had been holding, and smiled. "Well, maybe a little."
He turned sideways in his truck and smiled at me, "Lashana, look. I want you to understand something. I don't ever want you to be afraid of me. I promised you that I wouldn't let anyone hurt you, and I meant that. I also meant that I won't ever hurt you either. I live out here because it's quite and gets me away from people. I spend my entire life surrounded with people when I work and when I get to be home, I like the idea that I can walk for miles in any direction and not run into anyone else. I will make you a promise, though, you will ALWAYS be safe with me, and if you ever feel uncomfortable, want to ask me a question or need something, please don't hesitate to tell me. OK?"
"OK" I was breathing a lot easier, having heard him say that, and the look in his eyes told me that he meant every word. He started down the road again, and this time I watched the scenery, seeing it from Steve's point of view. It was really beautiful land, and so very quiet. He turned another corner, and I gasped. Sitting at the end of the road was the most beautiful house I had ever seen.
"Oh Steve! It's beautiful!"
He chuckled and said "Thank You." He pulled up in front of the house, jumped out of the truck and then helped me down as well. I expected that he would put me down on the ground and let me walk to the house, so I was truly shocked when he instead carried me up the stairs to the porch and into the house.
"Steve, I can walk, you don't have to carry me everywhere!"
He set me down on the couch and smiled. "I want you to take it easy! Besides if I had put you down outside, you probably would have gotten gravel in your cast and I don't think you would enjoy that too much."
