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I had spent the last several hours sitting with Steve, going over final details for our wedding, which was to be the next day. It was getting close to nine pm, and I heard a knock at the door. I looked at Steve, dredding the argument I knew was about to erupt.
"Well…that would be Glenn and Storm." He looked at me a little odd, but went to answer the door. Sure enough, there they stood hand in hand. Steve smiled and let them in, tossing me a quizzical look over his shoulder as they went to the living room.
"So, what are you two doing out and about this time of the night?" Steve asked that question as I walked into the room to join them.
Glen and Storm both looked at me and then back at Steve, "We came to pick Lashana up…she's staying with us tonight."
"Like HELL she is!" Steve looked at me and I knew this was going to be ugly. He pulled me against him, as if by sheer force he could keep me from leaving.
"Steve, baby, its only for one night. I was planning on saying something earlier, but I knew you would argue with me and I didn't want to fight with you today."
He looked down at me, obviously confused. "Why in the hell would you want to spend the night before our wedding in Storm and Glen's spare room?"
I smiled and traced the wrinkled that had appeared between his eyes with the tip of my finger and then followed the line down his nose to his mouth. He kissed my finger when it landed there, but didn't take his eyes from mine. "Precisely, Steve, because it is the night before our wedding. You know me, you know I'm superstitious, you didn't really think I would stay here with you and let you see me before the wedding did you? There's no way I'm going to risk an all out fiasco simply because I couldn't bear being apart from you for one night…. Besides, think how much fun our wedding night will be!"
He leaned down, kissed me, and then whispered in my ear, "Baby, our wedding night will be unforgettable regardless of where you spend the night tonight!" The promise his voice held sent tiny shivers of anticipation down my spine. "I just don't want to have to try to get comfortable without you in my arms tonight."
I kissed him and pulled out of his arms, "Well, babe, you're gonna have to deal, because I'm not going to let anything spoil the day tomorrow." I walked into the hallway and picked up the overnight bag that I had packed. We had stored my dress and the rest of my clothes at Storms to keep Steve's prying eyes away from it…I was taking every precaution.
Glen took my bag from me and headed out to the car, Storm following behind him, grinning, "We'll wait for you in the car, Lashana…just don't be too long."
"I'll be right there Storm, thanks."
Steve pulled me against him, "I don't like this…I want you here in my arms."
I snuggled against his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist, "I know baby, I don't really like it much either, but I will feel better if I do this. It's only one night…then we'll have the rest of our lives together." I stood up on my toes and kissed him. He tightened his grip on me and deepened the kiss, holding me until I was nearly unable to stand. When he pulled back I looked at him, shocked.
"Wow, what was that for?"
He chuckled at the bemused expression on my face, "Just a reminder of what you'll be missing tonight and an incentive for you to show up at the church tomorrow. I love you, don't you forget that!"
I stepped back out of his arms and smiled, "I love you too, baby and there is nothing in this world that could keep me away from that church tomorrow." I walked out the door and climbed into the backseat of Kanes Explorer. Neither one spoke on the ride to their house, they seemed to sense that I needed some quiet time to think. We pulled up in front of their house and Glen grabbed my bag out of the back.
I followed them down the hallway to the spare room. "Lashana, there are towels in the bathroom, right through that door. Help yourself to whatever you need or want from the kitchen. Just make yourself at home. Glen and I are going to bed now, we'll see you in the morning." They both hugged me and headed out the door, while I tried to get settled in for the night.
I slipped on shorts and a t-shirt and crawled into the bed. I lay there for what seemed like hours, just staring at the ceiling. I tossed and turned trying to find a comfortable place to lay alone in this bed. My body seemed to be rebelling against sleeping alone. I must have finally dozed off around midnight, but it was a fitful sleep, full of nightmares and images of the unknown man that had haunted me for months now.
~I was in a dark room again, it was cold and damp and I could hear the skittering sounds of creatures that I would rather not see in the corners of the room. I walked, reaching for the wall, hoping to find some sort of light switch or door that would allow me to find my way out.
My hand grazed the cold walls, damp from the condensation in the room, and I followed it nearly all the way around until my hand came to rest on a door knob. My heart pounded, excited at the possibility of getting out of this room. I tried the knob and it turned without the slightest problem. I pulled the door slightly and peeked through the crack.
I saw Steve, standing there talking to some man. I had no idea who this man was, he had his back to me. I only knew that he was of average height and had dark hair. I walked out into the room hoping to get some idea of what was happening. Steve looked at me over the man's shoulder and I smiled, expecting him to smile back. Instead he looked at me with a mixture of anger, sadness and disappointment in his eyes.
"Steve? What's going on?"
The man grabbed my hand and pulled be back down the hallway, "You're mine…you will never be with him. Why would he want you, you're just some two bit whore…!" I fought against him, still not able to clearly see his face as he drug me down the hall.
I was calling out for Steve to help me, to do something, but he just stood there, shaking his head, frozen in place. ~
I jerked awake, sweat beading on my brow, tears flowing down my cheeks and my heart pounding like it was going to escape the walls of my chest. I looked at the clock and it read 2:30 in the morning. I rolled over and grabbed the phone off the bed side table needing to speak to Steve more than I needed to breathe. I dialed the number and waited, praying that he would hear the phone ringing.
"Hello?" He sounded sleepy, but just the sound of his voice calmed my heart beat and allowed me to breath a little easier.
"Steve? Its me."
"Lashana? Baby, what's the matter, you sound like you've been crying." I took a deep shuddering breath and trying to calm down completely.
"Yeah, I'm ok, just had a nightmare and wanted to hear your voice. I guess being away from you is harder on me than I thought." I lay back on the bed, and talked to him for a few more minutes, until I started yawning on the phone.
I heard Steve chuckle, "Baby, its time for you to hang up the phone and go back to sleep. Dream of me, and I'll keep all the nightmares at bay. I love you."
I yawned once more, "I love you too." I hung up the phone and fell asleep almost instantly. I slept a dreamless sleep, and woke up when Storm knocked on the door at 9:00am telling me that I had a phone call. I rolled over in the bed and picked up the phone.
"hello…"
"Morning baby…how are you feeling this morning?"
My spirits lifted almost immediately at the sound of his voice, "Steve, I'm so glad you called. I'm feeling much better this morning, I don't know what on earth was wrong with me last night. I'm sorry for waking you up in the middle of the night though."
"Baby you don't ever need to apologize for needing me. I was really worried about you when you called, but you sound much better now."
"I feel much better! I guess I just needed to hear your voice, cause when I got off the phone I was out like a light."
He chuckled in my ear, "Well, you need to get up now, cause you've got about three hours before you're supposed to be at the church."
I smiled, "I can't wait to see you again. I missed you way too much last night. I do have to run though, cause we're supposed to be at the hair dresser's in an hour and I've still got to take a shower. I love you!"
"I love you too, baby, more than life itself"
I hopped out of bed and into the shower, excited at the day to come. Once I had dried my hair and pulled on my jeans and t-shirt, I headed into the kitchen, following the smell of bacon and eggs and the sounds of conversation in the kitchen.
Glen and Mark were sitting at the table talking about an upcoming match and Kanike and Storm were cooking breakfast. As I walked into the kitchen Mark and Glen looked up from their conversation.
"Hey girl, you all ready for the big day?" I smiled at Mark, and walked over to sit down at the table with them. Storm and Kanike brought breakfast to the table and sat down with us as well.
"Yea, I guess I am. I just…"
Glen cocked his head to one side in that patented Kane manner, "You just what?"
"I don't know, I guess I'm just worried that something is going to go wrong…everything seems to be going so well, I wondering when the bomb is going to drop and it will all be over."
Kanike nodded her head, "I know exactly how you feel Lashana, I felt the same way when Mark and I got married. Sometimes its hard to believe that things can really go well in your life once you get used to having chaos and mayhem all the time, but it really is possible."
I smiled and looked at the clock, "Well, if I'm going to get to start my wonderful new life this afternoon, we need to get moving. Has anybody heard from Leah this morning? We're due at the hair dresser's shortly." We all rushed to clean up the kitchen. Just as we were finishing up, I heard the doorbell. Glen opened the door and I heard the familiar sound of Leah and Hunter arguing.
"See, I told you we weren't late. They wouldn't have left without you!" Hunter smiled at Glen who was standing aside watching the two of them argue.
"That's not the point Hunter, and you know it." Leah looked at me and smiled, "Morning Lashana, sorry I'm late, but Hunter decided that he absolutely HAD to go jogging this morning before we left, which would have been fine except that he waited until it was almost time to go before he decided to do it."
I chuckled, watching Hunter's face, "He tried not looking guilty, but failed miserably. "That's all right Leah, I was a little slow getting moving myself this morning. Lets get out of here and leave these boys to themselves." I looked at the three men standing in the living room, three men that I counted as part of my family. "Steve's is up, if you guys want to head over there. Do me a favor…don't let him chicken out on me! I'd hate to be left standing at the altar!"
All three looked at me like I had lost my mind, Glen even laughed out loud. "Please Lashana, I think we're going to have a hard time keeping him away from the church until it's time to go…I've never seen him want something as bad as he wants to be with you."
"Well, then, just make sure he wears the Tux…he's been fighting me about that one since we started planning this thing."
Kanike, Storm, Leah and I headed out the door, listening to the chuckling behind us. I knew Steve was in for some harassment from the guys, but I figured he'd handle it just fine. As we drove to the salon, Kanike started chatting about the wedding and how Steve handled my not staying at the house the night before.
I chuckled, remembering his reaction, "Well, he wasn't exactly thrilled, but he took it ok. Only argued with me for a minute or two. He said he didn't want to have to try to get comfortable without me."
Storm and Leah laughed, "So how do you think he did?"
"Much better than me, I ended up calling him at 2:30 in the morning. He seemed to be sound asleep."
Storm looked at me, "So that was what he meant when he asked if he could talk to you again. Why did you call him, anyway?"
The image of the nightmare that I had flashed through my head at that point and I shivered in reaction. Kanike noticed, "Lashana? What happened that made you call Steve at that hour?"
I looked at her and then at Storm, "I had a nightmare...I guess sleeping alone was more difficult than I thought it would be." I laughed trying to blow off the nightmare as nothing, and hoping they would change the subject. They of course pressed the issue.
Leah was the first one to ask the question they were all thinking. "Lashana? Was that guy in your nightmare again? I didn't realize you were still dreaming about him. Does Steve know about it?"
I looked at her and gave a half smile, "Well, I don't really know. This was a weird nightmare...Steve was in it, and there was another man, but I never saw his face. I assume it was the same man, but I just don't know." I looked out the window, then back at Kanike, "as far as telling Steve...well, he knows I had a nightmare, but he doesn't know what it was about. I just don't see any point in upsetting him when there's nothing he can do about it."
They all nodded, understanding my point. We sat in silence for the rest of the ride to the salon, each of us thinking about the men in our lives. The rest of the morning was very entertaining, as Storm and Kanike both talked about their weddings and the little problems and quirks that they had run into. We talked about the guys, and laughed ourselves to tears talking about the silly little things they had done or said. By the time we were done getting hair and make up done it was time to head to the church. We climbed back into Storm's car and headed out.
My stomach was doing some serious flips by the time we reached the church and I honestly felt like I was going to be sick I was so nervous. The girls were trying their best to keep me calm, and I was doing pretty good until I heard the music start that signaled our entrance to the church. They all hugged me and started down the aisle one at a time. I stood, slightly to the side and waited till they were at the front of the church.
The music changed and I started down the aisle. I saw Steve's reaction immediately, and his smile broadened as I made my way toward him. The oohs and ahhs of the guests were audible from the front to the back of the church and my heart was pounding so hard that I knew it could be heard all the way at the front. I had taken about twenty steps when, for some reason I looked to my left. My eyes met a pair of cold grey eyes that caused me to freeze in mid stride.
I stood there in the middle of the church with my eyes locked on the face of the man that had been haunting my nightmares for months. In the space of that instant my memory came flooding back and my entire body tightened up. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach and my hand flew to my throat. I looked down the aisle at Steve, who had started moving toward me. I picked up the hem of my gown and ran out of the church, tears flooding my eyes and running down my cheeks.
"Lashana! What the hell?"
He followed me from the church and caught me in the parking lot, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me to him. "Baby, what the hell happened. What's the matter?" I wrapped my arms around his neck sobbing on his shoulder, until I realized what I was doing.
"Oh god, Steve...please just let me go..." I tried to pull out of his arms, but he tightened his grip on me and picked me up to carry me to the bench in the garden on the side of the church.
"Hell no, I'm not going to let you go. Something just scared the hell out of you in that church and there's no way I'm going to let you go until you tell me what happened." I quit struggling against him, knowing full well and good that until he was ready to let me go I was stuck. "Steve, please...you don't understand...my memory came back in there! I am so sorry for running out on you like that, but I...I can't marry you. I'm so very sorry."
"Baby, what happened? I know you love me, I know you want to be with me. You memory coming back can't have changed that, so tell me...why can't you marry me??"
I closed my eyes, fighting back the fresh set of tears that threatened and took a deep breath, "I can't marry you Steve, because I'm...I'm already married."
