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He chuckled and was just about to answer me, when a little boy walked up to the table, with his eyes wide. "Yyyyyyou're….Stone Cold Steve Austin…." That name triggered a memory, and I sat there eyes almost as wide that those of the little boy. Austin smiled at the little guy and said, "Yes, I am. Is there something I can do for you little fella?"
"Cccccould I have yyyyyour autograph, Sir?" I noticed the stutter in the little guys voice, that I had initially thought from awe, but quickly realized was not. Steve noticed it to and smiled at the boy, "Sure thing, son." He asked the boys name and then signed a napkin, personalized for the little boy. When he walked away, Steve looked up at me and noticed the shocked look on my face.
"Lashana?? You ok?"
"Wrestler? You're a wrestler???" I was dumbfounded, partially because that name had obviously triggered part of my memory, but mostly because I just realized who I was having dinner with.
Steve smiled, "Yeah, I am…Lashana did you just realize who I am? Did you have a memory?"
I laughed and sat back in my chair, "Yeah, I did. You never gave me your full name, and when that little boy said it, and I guess it triggered something in my head. Well, I know one thing about myself…"
Steve looked at me, his smile getting broader every minute, "What's that?"
"I'm a huge wrestling fan. That the only reason I can come up with for the reaction I just had to your full name." I was smiling and the evening was looking brighter by the minute, then something else occurred to me. "Wait, if you're….then Mark and Glen must be….Undertaker and Kane??"
Steve just smiled and nodded, watching the play of emotions across my face as I realized who I had been spending time with for the last few days. We finished dinner, and Steve suggested that we walk across the street and have a drink before we headed home, which I thought was a wonderful idea. Part of me probably enjoyed being on the arm of Stone Cold Steve Austin, but I was also just enjoying being out and didn't really want to go home just yet.
We entered the bar, and a few of the people greeted Steve and looked at me curiously. It was obvious that he came here often, because he knew most of the people. An older gentleman walked up and handed Steve a beer, clapping him on the back and giving him a brief hug.
"Hey pops…what's going on?"
"Nothing much, Stevie boy. Who's your lady friend?" He looked at me and winked, and I like this man almost immediately. He seemed like a kind gentleman, and when Steve introduced me, it felt perfectly natural for him to lean over to kiss my cheek in greeting. That is until I smelled it…on his breath was that smell, I couldn't place it, but it made my knees go week and my pulse start to race with fear. I stepped back a couple of steps, and watched as he ordered another whiskey from the bar.
Steve turned and saw the look of fear on my face, and my hand went to my mouth, I started backing away, seeing something that wasn't there, and when he reached for me I bolted. I was out the door and halfway to the truck before he caught me. He grabbed me around my waist and pulled me against him, feeling the tremors in my body.
"Lashana? Hey, what happened, what's the matter? Shhh, calm down, you're ok. Just relax."
I looked at him, willing my heart beat to slow down, and my body to stop shaking. "I….I don't really know. It was the smell…the whiskey…I think…I…oh, GOD, what's wrong with me!" I broke down into tears, standing there with his arms wrapped tightly around me and his soothing calming voice in my ears. He picked me up, put me in the truck and headed home. I sat in the truck in silence, trying to sort out the feelings racing through my body, the fear, the embarrassment for the way I reacted. I felt bad for ruining the evening. Most of all, I didn't want to be alone. I lay my head against his shoulder and fell asleep on the drive home.
I woke up in my bed, my clothes had been changed and I had been tucked in under the blankets. I looked around the room and realized that I was feeling panicked and alone. I got out of the bed without really thinking, and walked into the hallway. I knocked on Steve's door and he opened it almost immediately. I could tell he had not been sleeping.
"Lashana? What's the matter, baby? Are you ok?"
I looked at him and shook my head. "Steve? Could you do something for me? Just for tonight?"
He looked at me, obviously curious about what I wanted, and nodded, "Sure, baby, what do you need?"
"I…well…I, umm, don't want to be alone. I feel all panicky and cold and I was wondering if maybe, just for tonight, I could sleep in here with you…if you would hold me while I'm sleeping?" I finished this question looking at the floor, embarrassed at my need to be held and half afraid he was going to laugh at me and send me back to the darkness alone. Instead, he reached out and wrapped his arms around me, scooping me up off the floor and carrying me to his bed. He lay down beside me, never saying a word. He pulled me against him and I fell asleep wrapped in his arms. It was the first night I slept without the nightmare….
"Lashana"
I heard my name, but I was so warm and so comfortable, that I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. I groaned, and turned over in the bed, trying to go back to sleep.
"Lashana, its time to get up, sweetheart."
When Steve's laughing voice registered in my brain, I remembered where I was. I couldn't face him this morning, after asking what I did of him last night, so I pulled the covers up over my head and groaned. "I feel like such a jerk…."
"What? Lashana, I cant hear you well under that blanket, but it sounded like you just called me a jerk."
I finally grabbed hold of my gumption and decided to face the humiliation when I looked at his face. I flipped over and threw the covers back. "No, Steve, I said I feel like a jerk."
He sat on the edge of his bed and looked at me, confusion written all over his face. "Why on earth would you say that?"
I sat there and looked at him, shaking my head. "Well, maybe because I've taken your hospitality, offered you nothing in return, and then in the middle of the night come knocking on your door asking for more, and now I've apparently driven you from your bed. I can't think of a better way to describe myself."
He actually laughed at that, and when I frowned at him, he laughed harder. "Lashana, you certainly did NOT drive me from my bed. Honey it's almost two, and I've been up for at least two hours. As far as you being a jerk, baby I wish you would let me do MORE for you; in the time you've been here, you've just about cleaned and cooked poor Janice out of a job." I opened my mouth to argue with him, and he reached over and placed a finger over my lips. "Shhh, listen to me. I want you to get better, and I want you to relax. You slept well in here last night, didn't you?"
I couldn't deny that I had, and I looked at him, "Yeah, it was probably the best nights sleep I've had. Thank you for letting me stay here with you."
He brushed an errant lock of hair back behind my ear and smiled, "You're welcome to stay in here with me anytime you want, Lashana. To be completely honest, I enjoyed having you in my arms last night. Now, get up and get dressed, I gave Janice the night off, and we're having company for dinner." With that he got up and walked out of the room, leaving me open mouthed and shocked at what he had said. I smiled, shook my head at the turn of events in my life recently, and wandered into my room to shower and change.
I headed downstairs about twenty minutes later, and stopped in the hallway to calm the pounding of my pulse when I heard Glen and Mark talking to Steve. I was determined not to act like a star struck fan when I saw two of my favorite wrestlers standing in the kitchen. I kept reminding myself that I had visited with these people multiple times over the last few weeks. I walked into the kitchen, and stopped short when I came face to face with not only the Undertaker and Kane, but also Triple H. They all smiled at me, and I smiled back, but my feet refused to move. Steve walked over, put his hand behind my back and whispered in my ear, "Honey, breathe."
The reminder snapped me out of the trance I was in, and I walked into the kitchen. Glen and Mark both gave me a hug and I was introduced to Hunter.
"You're looking a lot better, Lashana. It's nice to see you out of the cast and moving easier." I smiled at Glen, still trying to adjust to being in the same room with them and sat in the chair let by the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Storm and Kanike wandered in from the backyard, carrying some fresh vegetables from the garden, followed by a stunning woman I didn't recognize. I returned her smile and shook her hand when she introduced herself.
"Hi, my name is Leah, I've heard quite a bit about you. It's nice to finally meet you."
"Its nice to meet you too." I shook my head, trying to shake off the last of my awe at being in the room with the men I had watched on t.v. for years. "You'll have to excuse me, I am just a little overwhelmed right now, so I'm not functioning quite right."
Glen, Mark and Hunter all looked at Steve, obviously wondering why I was overwhelmed, and I got completely embarrassed when Steve smiled and winked at me. "Lashana had a memory of sorts last night while we were at dinner. She realized what we do for a living, and remembered that she is a fan. She's still adjusting to hanging out with us."
I was praying that the floor would swallow me whole, especially when I caught the glint in Glen and Marks eyes. They started advancing on me, and I was backing myself into a corner, without realizing it. "So, you're a fan huh? I think this calls for a hug, Mark, Hunter? What do you guys think." Suddenly I had all three of them surrounding me in the corner, and I was laughing uncontrollably. Glen grabbed me, and I was squished between the three men, while the others in the room were laughing themselves to tears. When they finally decided to put me down, I had laughed so hard that I had a stitch in my side. I walked over to the breakfast bar, still chuckling, but with my hand pressed to my side.
Steve must have thought that my ribs were bothering me, because he looked terribly concerned and walked over behind me. "Lashana, are you hurting? I noticed you holding your side." This statement earned Glen, Mark and Hunter looks of disapproval from the women in the room, and they all started apologizing at once, believing that they had hurt me while we were playing.
I looked around the room at the people who were obviously concerned about my wellbeing, and chuckled. "I'm fine really, my ribs aren't bothering me at all, but I did manage to laugh so hard that I have a small stitch in my side. I think I'll live, so you can all quit worrying me. I'm not quite as fragile as you all seem to think I am."
Steve looked at me, watching me for a couple of minutes, making sure that I wasn't hiding anything from him, and once he was satisfied, he went back to getting the burgers ready for the grill. The guys headed outside to start dinner while we sat around the table, cutting vegetables for the salad, and getting the rest of dinner ready.
"So, Lashana, you're having memories? Anything interesting that you want to share with us?" Kanike had asked that question, and the other women all looked at me waiting for my answer. I smiled, trying to keep the mood light, and did my best to answer their questions.
"Every now and then, something will trigger a memory, and unfortunately, most of the time they are not good memories. It seems like the only memories that are coming back are the ones involving whatever happened to me, although they are not even really clear."
"What are they like? If you don't mind my asking." I smiled at Leah and shook my head
"No, I don't mind, it actually helps to talk about what I remember. Like the other night, while Steve and I were at dinner, this little boy came up and asked for his autograph. Hearing his full name triggered a whole series of flutter, butterfly feelings. It was really odd, but not unpleasant. Then later when we walked across the street to the bar, I had another, less pleasant memory of sorts." I took a deep breath, remembering the reaction that I had to Steve's friend, and feeling pretty bad when I realized I had not even apologized for bailing out of the bar like that. I looked at the women and they were watching me, waiting for me to continue. "It's really hard to explain, but there was this guy, this friend of Steve's. He seemed really nice, and I actually kind of liked him. When he kissed me on the cheek, I caught the smell of whiskey on his breath, and I got this cold, panicky feeling. I…I can't really explain it, I didn't really remember anything solid, nothing more than a feeling, but it was strong enough to send me running from the bar in terror."
Storm walked over beside me and put her arm around my shoulder, "Oh, Lashana that's awful. I can't imaging what you must be dealing with. What did Steve do?"
I smiled at Storm and shook my head, "Him, I don't understand at all. He just keeps on taking care of me, even though I know full well as good that he didn't know me until he found me on the side of the road. He chased me out of the bar, held me till I was calm, put me in the truck, and then put me to bed. He even held me last night when I woke up and panicked. I wish I knew why he was doing it all."
The girls shared a look that I didn't quite understand, and Kanike smiled, "Well, enough of this! We are going to have dinner and have some fun tonight. Lets grab the veggies and see what the boys are up to."
Everyone agreed and we headed outside. They were just finishing up the burgers, and we set the table on the back deck. We laughed and talked for a good couple of hours, until it started getting dark. It was one of the most relaxing evenings I had spent in the past weeks. I was hoping it wouldn't end, when Glen, who must have been reading my mind suggested that we all head out and find a place where we could get a drink and maybe listen to some music.
Steve looked over at me, and I knew he was thinking about my reaction in the bar last night, and although I could tell he really wanted to go, I knew deep inside that he would stay if I decided it was too much for me to handle. I smiled and winked at him, "I think that's a great idea, Glen. I just need to run upstairs real quick and we can head out."
Steve followed me into the house, while the others were cleaning up from dinner. "Lashana, are you sure you're up to this? I don't want you upset again."
I stood there on the steps, and smiled. He was standing in front of me, and because I was standing on the second step, I was almost at eye level with him. I lay my hand against his face, "Steve, I know I freaked out last night, and I really owe you an apology for that. I don't really know what happened, but I do know one thing. I'm not going to cower in this house and never go out again, I'll lose my mind if I try. I want to go out with you and have a good time. I'm sure I'll be fine, just do me a favor…"
He smiled and looked at me, "What's that, sugar?"
I chuckled, wondering how he would react to this statement, considering the fact that I knew full well and good that he didn't drink anything but beer. "Don't drink whiskey."
I watched the surprise cross his face, then when he realized that I was trying to lighten my reaction last night he laughed. "I promise, no whiskey!" He reached up and took my hand, which was still laying against his cheek and kissed my palm. "Go get dressed and lets go have some fun!"
He turned and headed outside while I went upstairs, shaking my head and trying to banish the butterflies that had taken up residence in my stomach when Steve kissed my palm. I ran a brush through my hair, touched up my makeup and put on my boots. I headed down to the kitchen and found everyone sitting around drinking coffee.
"Well, are you all ready to go or what?"
Steve smiled at me, and everyone stood to head out the door. We ended up taking separate cars, and I sat in the truck with Austin, feeling a little shy. He was in a talkative mood, so I just let him ramble on about upcoming events and matches that he would be participating in, only making comment when it seemed necessary. He followed Mark and Glen, and Hunter and Leah followed us. We pulled up in front of what appeared to be a very active club, with people streaming in and out of the front doors. I could hear the music every time the door opened, and it was shaping up to be a very entertaining evening.
Steve helped me out of the truck, and we headed inside. He brought me a beer, and we all sat around the tables laughing and talking, well shouting really, over the music and watching the people on the dance floor.
I watched Leah and Hunter head for the dance floor, followed shortly by Glen and Storm. Steve had draped his arm over the back of my chair and I was leaning against his side with my head on his shoulder. I was really enjoying myself, and although the butterfly's had apparently set up permanent residence in my stomach, I was comfortable. I felt a slight brush against the top of my head and when I looked up at Steve, he winked at me.
The music changed at that point, to a slow sweet song, and the butterflies multiplied when Steve leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Would you like to dance with me?"
I took a deep breath and smiled, "I would love to."
He stood up and took my hand, leading me down the steps. I noticed some of the women on the way watching him, with a look of appreciation on their faces, and I smiled inwardly at the knowledge that I was the one he was here with. We reached the dance floor, and he pulled me into his arms. I lay my head against his chest and closed my eyes, listening to the music and enjoying his strength. I could feel his hand, stroking my hair.
His chin came to rest on top of my head and his arms tightened around me, I felt unbelievable safe and cherished being held by him, and I didn't want the dance to end. When it did, and he released me, I looked up at him and gave him a small smile. He leaned down, and placed a very light, very sweet kiss on my mouth. It was so gentle and so sweet, that I almost wondered if it had happened at all. He held my hand as he led be back to the table.
We had gone about four or five feet, when I heard, "f*cking slut". I turned to see who said it, the sound of the voice registering in my head, but saw no one there. Steve felt me stop behind him, and turned to see what was wrong. He saw the look of confusion on my face, and put his arm around my shoulder, leading me the rest of the way to the table. We sat down and he leaned over to whisper in my ear.
"Baby, what's the matter? Did something happen that I missed?" I could hear the concern in his voice, and I debated with myself about saying anything. I had already ruined one night out with him, and I didn't want to ruin another. I looked at him and smiled, "No, I just thought I heard something. I'm fine."
He put his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him. I could tell he wasn't completely convinced that I wasn't hiding something from him.
"Steve, I'm really ok. I'll explain everything tonight. Let's just have a good time, ok?"
He looked at me a moment longer, looking for any sign of distress, "If you're sure you're ok, but we will talk about it later." That said, he leaned down and kissed me again, only it was a different sort of kiss, one that promised of things to come. When he pulled back from me, he chuckled at the bemused and confused expression that was on my face. He pulled me against him and we settled back to watch the band and the dancers for a little while longer.
I was getting tired, and I tried to conceal a yawn behind my hand, while Steve was saying something to Glen, but he noticed it and smiled. "Are you ready to go baby?"
I smiled, "I am getting a little sleepy. Do you mind?"
"No, I don't mind at all. Let's go, I'll take you home to bed." I smiled and stood next to him. As I turned to walk around the table, I noticed a man standing by the bar, staring at me. There was something vaguely familiar about him, and also something very unpleasant. I was frozen in place, my eyes locked with those of this stranger, and I felt a chill run through my body when he smiled at me. Steve was talking to a fan who wanted his autograph, and didn't notice, but Storm noticed the look on my face and leaned over to say something to Glen. Glen followed my line of site, and saw the man at the end of the bar.
I saw Glen stand and knew he was planning to approach the stranger, but by the time he stood up, someone had walked in front of the man, and when they were gone, so was he. I could tell that Glen was about to say something to Steve, and I shook my head at him, hoping he would understand. Storm, understanding that I wanted to talk to Steve on my own, did her best to intervene and by the time Steve was done with the fan, everyone had settled down.
Storm, Kanike and Leah all walked over to say good bye to me, giving me a hug. "Lashana, I'm going to call you tomorrow, I want to know what just happened here a moment ago. I assume you are going to talk to Steve about it when you get home tonight."
Kanike and Leah both agreed with Storm, and I promised that I would talk to Steve as soon as we got home, and that I would explain it all to them the next day. Hunter and Mark both hugged me and when I turned around, Glen was standing beside me. He reached down to hug me and whispered in my ear.
"I don't know what just happened here, but I hope that you trust us enough to tell us if there is a problem."
"I do, Glen, and I will explain everything to you soon, I promise." I kissed his cheek and thanked him for understanding, just as I heard Austin making a comment from behind me.
"Hey, man, you think you could go hang on your wife instead of my woman? I'd like to take her home, if you're done man handling her."
Everyone laughed and I walked over and put my arm around Austin's waist. He kissed my forehead, smiled and winked at me. "You all set?"
"Yeah, lets get out of here." We headed to the door, and as I was passing the bar, I saw him again. As we walked past, he raised his glass, as if toasting me, but the sneer on his face told me that if I did know him, it wasn't a pleasant relationship, and certainly one I would rather not remember. I shivered again at the look in his cold gray eyes, and Austin noticed.
"Are you cold? I felt you shiver." He put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me up against him, and out of the line of site of the stranger in the corner, I leaned my head against his shoulder and smiled.
"Just a little chill, I'm ok now. Let's just go home. Ok?" He still looked a little concerned, but he dropped it and held the door for me to pass through. Once we were in the truck, my mind started to reel. I was trying to figure out how I was going to broach the subject with Steve about what had happened I was curled up against his side and as we drove, I started getting sleepy. By the time we pulled in front of the house, I was sound asleep, with my head on his lap.
He climbed out of the car, and carried me into the house. I woke up slightly as he was carrying me up the stairs. I chuckled, and he looked at me. "What's so funny, Sleepyhead?"
I leaned back in his arms and looked at him, "I was just thinking that you are forever carrying me somewhere. I'm going to forget how to walk if you keep this up."
"I'll carry you anywhere you want to go, sugar. Just say the word."
I sighed, enjoying the complete and total security I felt with him, "Bed, I want to sleep." He winked and smiled at me, carried me into my room and lay me down on the bed. He leaned down and kissed me, sending shock waves all the way to my toes. When he pulled back, we were both breathless, and I was totally stunned.
"Baby, I want you to know something. I think I'm falling in love with you, and I was debating whether or not I wanted to say anything or not, but I can't help it. The more time I spend with you, the more I see of you, the more I want to be with you. I know you have a lot that you're dealing with, and I'm not going to pressure you, but I wanted you to know how I feel. I know you slept better with me last night than you have in a while, and if you'd like to stay with me again tonight, well, for that matter every night all you need to do is say so, no strings attached."
I lay on the bed, trying to process everything that he had said to me. I knew that I had strong feeling for him, and I was sure that I was probably even in love with him, but how could I allow myself to become involved at this point. I still had not clue about my past, I really knew nothing about myself. I looked in his eyes, and saw the emotion and the love shining in them, and in that moment I knew I was lost. It didn't matter that I didn't know my last name, or how old I actually was. I really didn't care that my entire life before I met this man was a complete and total mystery to me. He was my rock, he was my strength, he was my only defense from the demons that haunted my sleep.
"I want to stay with you Steve, I want you to hold me while I sleep and chase away the darkness and the cold in my nightmares." He pulled me against him and held me for a moment. He went to scoop me up and carry me to his room, but I stopped him, telling him that I wanted to shower and change before I went to bed and that I would be there soon. He put me down, kissed me again, just to remind me how much I was loved, and left the room.
I changed into shorts and a t-shirt, brushed my hair, washed my face and brushed my teeth, and wandered over to Steve's room. The door was cracked open, and I could hear the water running in his bathroom, so I went in and made myself comfortable in the bed. I was snuggled down and half asleep, when he finally came out of the shower, with a towel wrapped around his waist. He chuckled, as he slipped on a pair of shorts and crawled into bed next to me, pulling me into his arms.
"You look so comfortable, I almost hated to disturb you, but then I decided that I'd rather disturb you and be able to hold you, than let you sleep here by yourself."
I looked back at him and smiled, "I'm glad, cause I would have been awfully disappointed if I had to sleep without your arms around me tonight."
"Not tonight, and if I have anything to say about it, not ever." He kissed the top of my head and in a matter of minutes we were both sound asleep.
